Begin again.

So much has happened since May 2014!

Two more art retreats at DDS, both with the fabulous Junelle Jacobsen, one only a week past, loads and loads of painting, sketching, classes and more classes, some sewing (but not enough), and real hard core life. Lymes disease, twice, the first time with BL Bell’s Palsy and I sincerely wish not to do that again, the second time with the bullseye rash I still sport on my inner thigh. Dear friends dying. Family problems. Keeping painting. Watercolor saves lives every day.

And that is the crux, not of the problem, but of the solution. Art for me has come to mean joy on a daily basis. It is leading me back to childhood art habits of making the same thing over and over, faces over and over, same sketches over and over, because that is how you learned as a child and it is no different now. Skills are built in the repetition. The sketches get better, the faces get better, the work is less laborious, more joyful. The inner critic stays away more and more because it gets ignored. Opinions are noted, “thank you for sharing, you may leave now.” More joy.

Fear presents itself more clearly now as the anxiety I still get about acrylics and painting with my bare hands. Just not there. I plan to try gloving and see if that works for me. Anxiety does not get to win any more than the critic, it’s just a bit harder to send on its way.

I sell small amounts of jewelry and for now that just has to do. I keep making, my brain is filled with ideas and the joy keeps flowing. Nice way to spend my golden years.

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